


Lost Connections

by styl



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 12:40:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16450172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/styl/pseuds/styl
Summary: Nicole felt the distance growing between her and the loved ones around her. Since Waverly's disappearance, she had felt less and less in control, reaching the point of breaking.





	Lost Connections

A month had passed, one whole month without her. Valdez had collected the gang and taken them to an abandoned motel within the city. Its location was hidden in an alleyway, it’s entrance tucked away in the corner of the dead end. The lighting was dim, the narrowness of the building upwards made Nicole feel claustrophobic. The month had consisted of them trying to find the stairs to the garden, which had disappeared since Wynonna had left them, constant plotting of new locations within the miles long forest and driving back to the Ghost River triangle every few days to scout it out, coming back empty-handed. They had all read the sacred text of The Garden of Eden over and over again, within the Genesis and Ezekiel, translated versions from Greek, Arabic and Hebrew, different variations of the Bible from the earliest of copies to current. The slightest change in language could completely transform where they believed the stairs to be. After the month that dragged out, there was nothing.

 

Nicole could feel hope and optimism fading. She began the search determined, but had grown as quiet as the hotel at the hour she was awake which was approaching 1 am. Everyone had called it a day and entered slumber hours ago, Nicole feared if she were to do so, each day of her following that pattern would become one that leads her into the hopeless slumber forever. She knew herself, each day she would end up adding hours in bed until there weren’t any out of it, aimlessly lying there, awaiting for the return of her love.

 

This night felt different to others; Nicole could usually hear pencil scratches from Jeremy’s room as he continued decoding sacred texts, the sharpening of weapons from Valdez’s room and the fiddling of the hammer from Wynonna’s gun. Tonight, it was silent. So silent that Nicole could hear her breathe stagger as she walked up the narrow spiral of the staircase.

 

Each step down the hallway increased the rising anxiety within Nicole. The silence wasn’t what she was used to, something had changed, defeat had filled the air. The closing of her bedroom door sounded like the terror of an atomic bomb hitting her ears. She stared blankly at the double bed in front of her, knowing as soon as she got in it would consumer her with the emptiness, it was nothing but a reminder of how Nicole hold her close and keep her warm. Nicole’s body slumped onto the floor beside the bed, her back against the wooden frame and side of the sheets that lied above the mattress. As her body shook from fear, she felt her tears heat burn her skin as they rolled down her face. The aching within her chest and throat kept her screams silent as she slowly rocked against the side of the bed.

 

She needed her back. She had lost so many people, and her mind constantly thought she was going to lose more. The smiles she showed within the light of day made her hope that the others would stay as positive as she portrayed herself to be. Hope. That’s what disappeared as night fell, a reminder that the only thing that kept her going was gone. The light in her life was drained away by the darkness that hung under the umbrella of branches from trees as she would walk past daily.

 

Her mind cried out, her heart pounded as the force of the vibrations flew through her trembling body. The tears blurred her vision of the dark room, the only light source coming from her phone which had fallen out of her pocket besides her.

 

 _I have to_ , she thought to herself trying to think of any logical way that her mind wouldn’t give up. Her loss of control made her feel as if she was walking in circles trying to find a corner. She yearned for the control of finding those she had lost. Her last resource was at the edge of her fingertips.

 

She always had remembered their number, it was the only memory she held of them, the people she spent years avoiding, the contact she had lost from her transition of childhood to adulthood, the root to the beginning of her losing those she cared for.

 

Her sobs came to a holt as she swiped and dialled, holding the phone up to her ear which popped the roundness of her tears which continued to fall. The continuous rings made Nicole’s chest pull to the point of snapping, afraid her number could cause no one to pick up.

 

She hugged her knees with her left arm, her head slightly dipped as the rings fell silent.

 

‘Hello?’ A woman replied on the other line, her voice soft from her awakened slumber, yet not mad. The tone was sweet and held the happy memories Nicole had pushed away from her past.

 

Nicole tried as hard as possible to seem presentable and confident, she sniffed her nose and whipped her tear even though she couldn’t see her, her voice shaking in her reply, ‘Hi mum.’

 

There was a moment where no one spoke, the hotel’s age came to a holt as the constant creaking became silent. There were no distant sounds of cars or cats climbing onto trash bins outside. It was just her and her mother.

 

‘Nicole?’ Her mothers' voice spoke in disbelief.

 

Nicole huffed a bit in a laugh, her nose blocked as she made her sarcastic comment, ‘Surprise.’

 

‘I’m… why are you calling Nicole? Are you okay? Did you get hurt?’

 

Her mothers' voice was raised in panic as she continued asking questions. The concerning tone made her stream of tears turn into waterfalls. The lost familiarisation of her mother’s voice returned to her.

 

‘I’m fine, mum, I’m fine.’ She cried, clinging tightly onto her phone as she would if her mother was with her in an embrace.

 

‘Then why-’ She began unable to finish her sentence as she could hear the pain her daughter was in.

 

‘I… I fell in love, mum, and now-‘ her sobs grew louder as she realised this would be the first time saying the words out loud, admitting to herself the reality that optimism wouldn’t allow her, ‘she’s missing.’

 

Her voice was a whisper of rain before the storm that was her control of herself snapping, her chest felt like it concaved in as her stomach dropped, the thunderous scream of despair filled the silence within the hotel. Her body fell slightly, her head leaning up against the bedside table beside her, which she pushed her head into, hoping that the pain that caused would succumb the ache in her heart.

 

After what felt like an endless silence of the other side of the phone, her mother spoke. Her voice was one Nicole knew little of, the voice she had only heard at funerals. It was her mother’s vocal chords strumming back the tears that desperately wanted to escape from her eyes. It was her voice of morning, similar to Nicole, she held the need of control in situations where she knew externally she could not confidently change the outcome, but positively help in some way.

 

‘Nicole, this is what we’re going to do. We are both going to go back to bed and rest, tomorrow I’ll call you on this number and you’ll give me the address you’re currently staying at-‘

 

‘Mum, no-‘ she began, knowing their lives had been so separate for so many years that she knew it was inconvenient. She saw herself as someone that was in the past of their life, the person that drifts away and never comes back.

 

‘No, Nicole,’ her mother snapped back quickly, Nicole knowing she was crying this time, ‘it’s been too long, and you are hurt. You said you’re fine, but you’re not, sweetheart. So tomorrow I am calling, and your father and I are coming and we are going to help you in any way possible to find this girl. Okay?’

 

There was a moment of silence, a slight sniff at the nose and the gentle crease of a smile curled onto Nicole's face as her whisper replied, ‘Okay.’

 

‘And Nicole.’ Her mother added.

 

‘Yeah?’ Nicole’s voice shook quietly.

 

‘What’s her name?’

 

The bitter-sweetness of Nicole’s reply was apparent, the love and desolation mixed together, ‘Waverly.’

 

Before the call ended, her mother said the last words of the night, ‘I look forward to meeting her.’

 

Nicole had been so focused on the call that she hadn’t realised Wynonna standing against the frame of the door, arms crossed with tears falling from the curves of her jaw to the carpet floor.

 

‘Was that…’ Wynonna began to question if her mother was on the other line.

 

Knowingly, Nicole nodded.

 

Wynonna closed the door, walking into the dark room to the side of her bed, sitting beside her. She put her arm around Nicole as her body fell into her own, her invisible shrieks of loss returning. Wynonna slowly stroked her hair, silently crying with her.

 

The streets were silent, not a single car or animal to be heard. The creaks of the old building had quieted. The only noise heard for miles was the droplets of their tears falling from their skin to the carpeted ground.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed
> 
> Follow my twitter: @earperfreak


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